$9.99

I have yet to resist a purchase for $9.99. The other day I bought a black hat that could only be appropriately worn at the horse races circa 1927 or maybe on an exotic beach somewhere...if I was jLo. Unfortunately I do not often find myself in either two of these scenarios and so there it sits, in my closet, as lonely as the number one.

But $9.99 is SO enticing. Today I purchased a dress I have plans to wear in Hawaii after having lost an impressive 50lbs.....I mean come on a deal is a deal, right?

Right.

What a Good Blouse Can Accomplish

I had, what you could call, a "great blouse night". If any ladies are reading you know what that means. It sat right on your figure, no busting, slouching, tugging or adjusting. It complimented you and decided to be at peace rather than at war with your frame. And for once, in a very long while....you felt, well....hot.

It's been awhile since I've felt attractive due to my ever expanding collections of various sweat pants. The application of make up has become even more daunting as I start to notice the very first signs of aging while approaching 27. Yes, that's right....I have reached my late twenties.

The twenties don't appear like what I thought MY late twenties would look like. I suppose I always assumed I'd be married by now, traveling the world with my patient, loving, strong, confident, poetic, athletic, charming, sensitive, kind, sexy, hardworking, handsome, rugged, adventurous, spontaneous, sensible, financially secure yet willing to be poor, spiritual, artsy, tall, stable, mysterious, good listening, attentive husband. Together, we would single handily save small island clusters from poverty.... making Oscar winning documentaries and writing love letters to each other. Upon completion of these endeavors, we would begin construction on our summer home for all of our 5 children to grow up in, listening to Jazz and living the "simple life".

But, as luck would have it (shockingly) I have learned that life doesn't always turn out as you would have planned. Instead I find myself changing up to 20 diapers a day working as a nanny and extremely part time office assistant/greeting card designer. In addition, I am UN-married...and potentially more single than I would have hoped.

Thus, I've laid in bed for the last few nights feeling a little sad at a life less lived than is healthy. I've felt disappointed in myself.

However, the beloved polka dot blouse hath saved me from such a fate. A future filled with many sleepless nights overflowing with "shoulda coulda wouldas" weaving in and out forming a dark tapestry of despair that would eventually smother me....hath been put out with a quickness like the flickering of a candle. (what a lovely dramatic sentence... a run on, I believe. My 8th grade english teacher told me I had the worst habit of run on sentences she'd ever seen. Sorry Ms. Cox)

At approximately 8:15pm on Friday, February 5, 2010 I looked in the mirror and felt a very simple joy in each and every dot on that blouse. I felt at ease in it's delicate fabric, and for the first time in a very long time....felt sincerely happy.

If a little blouse (which I purchased on sale, might I add) can drudge up such alien feelings in my heart, I wonder what a life lived with gratitude and wonder could bring? Perhaps a richness I have yet to experience. A life rooted in love, contentment and dare I say....worship?

On Monday morning, February 8th at around 10am I will turn 27. I will go to work like usual. I will no doubt be thrown up on and change a record amount of diapers during my 12 hour shift. I will be wearing sweat pants and dreaming up little card ideas as I fold other peoples clothing. Humming to myself I will wash dishes, mop the kitchen and pick up an endless amount of toys. Strangely, I actually feel okay with that.

And just maybe, learning that contentment paired with even harder work, will finally lead me towards some of those other dreams I've had put away in boxes for so long.

In the meantime, I'd like to point out that the Oscars are overrated and too long :) Especially the Red Carpet Pre-show.

Haiti Earthquake

If stick figures ran the box office....

As with all things...

I have come to both love and hate the word "thing". It's a both vague and overly descriptive word, and I simply cannot figure it out. No matter what your opinion of this word, you cannot deny it's essential existence in a western world such as this. It has become, perhaps, our most important noun. Or, pretentiously taking it a bit further...."things" have become our way of thinking (dramatic music plays you find yourself suddenly enlightened by my deep thoughts).

To spare the reader a ridiculous rambling of radical rationale (ha, alliteration. See what I did there?) I will instead make you a list. A list of the acceptable and unacceptable ways to use the words "thing" or "things". And so, ladies and gents, I give you....

THOUGHTS ON THING/s:

a list for the ages

*the list will continuously be updated*

A. Unacceptable usage of "thing" or "things":

1. "Don't put that thing in the sink"

2. "This thing will make me happy!"

3. "What did you do today?" .... "you know, things."

4. "So, did you get me anything?"

5. "Did you pick up the thing?"

6. "What is this thing?"

7. "Is there anything you do right?"

8. "I need space to figure things out...and I'm not coming to your birthday"

8. this:

9. "Give me that thing now!"

10. "I have so many things to do today"

11. "Clean up those things.......now!"

12. "Don't touch those things..."

13. "No miss, we don't carry those things at this store"

14. "shhh, don't speak of such things"

15. (dramatic sighs) "Don't we have anything to eat around here?"

16. "You look like something...."

17. "That thing makes you look fat"

15. this: (from 1982 movie "The Thing")

B. Acceptable usage of "thing" or "things":

1. "Whoa, check that thing out!"

2. "It's like the thing that wouldn't stop eating!"

3. "Get away from that thing!"

4. "Where did you get that thing?"

5."Don't you have enough of those things?"

6. "The thing about it is...."

7. "I don't know where to find this thing"

8. "Get that thing out of your mouth!"

9: this:

10. "I love this thing!"

11. "I'm not gonna eat this thing"

12. "What is it with you and things?"

13. "Do we have to go to that thing?"

14. "I hate....things."

15. "That thing is going to KILL me!"

16. "This thing is amazing!"

17. "Say that thing you say, it's hilarious...come on!"

18. "Is this thing a boy or girl?"

19. this: and also this:

The Root of the Problem

One of these days, I will move into a house that I will not have to....6months later....or less, move out of. One of these days I will put down roots. And from them I will grow strong. And rock back and forth on my porch, yelling at the children who kicked their soccer ball into my yard. Handing out dental floss at Halloween. I will call the authorities when one of my 10 cats goes missing in my house. Yes, roots. That's what I need. Roots.

Sigh.

New Holiday Designs

I think this design is really funny. What's funny is calling it a design, because really...it's just stick figures people. Oh how I love them!