Dear Madams,
I greet you with tremendous joy at the opening of this holiday season. I also welcome the very *temporary, yet honorary Jello Club Members Janelle Marie Walker, David Christian Walker Sr. and Kenneth Brett Kupelian to this jello forum.
Faithful Jello consumers, I write to inform you of an amazing opportunity. It has come to my attention that the Arlene Schnitzer Concert will once again be hosting their annual Gospel Christmas Concert on December 11-13, 2009 at 7:30pm. After careful research, I was able to obtain this obscure link which will lead you to greater details regarding ticket prices:
My challenge to all of you is this: Will you join me on this holiday endeavor? Will you stand with jello and help save Christmas? I fear that without Jello club and it's special new *temporary members....the spirit of this fine concert will come to certain ruin. And also that children around the world will cry out in horror on Christmas morning when they find their stockings filled with dead bugs and various furry rodents rather than shiny toys and candy. How does Jello Club not attending the Gospel Christmas directly correlate to Santa losing his mind and children around the world receiving dead animals rather than presents? I do not know. But can we really afford to take that chance?
A timely and prompt reply would be much appreciated. With exception, of course, to President Mills...as she is the leader of the free world.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Marie Walker
Secretary to the Interior
**Temporary Jello Club members are subject to exclusions including jello crowns and certain types of tea. Temporary Jello Club members may not look President Mills directly in the eye and must never, under any circumstances utter the name, "Rod Hill". Temporary Jello Club members may submit applications for permanent membership on or after January 1, 2010 3:30pm Pacific Western Mountain Eastern Time. Application available upon request. Applicant must have a valid Drivers License or other form of Identification, speak 3 languages including French, not talk too much, and in general be an enjoyable or entertaining person. Completion of the "Jello History Quiz" with a passing grade of C or higher required before Application is accepted.**
Jello Resources for study:
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