Inbox: Hannah Webster

Ms. Webster,

You are not a horrible friend. One of the things I enjoy about this friendship we have is that we can always pick up where we left off...no strings attached...no pressure...no worry if you are busy :)

Now, as for your "busy" ness. I relate to this problem completely. In fact I relate so much, it may serve as a good topic for my blog. Yes, blog. You read correctly. I am obsessed. Blogging masquerades around in my mind like something of power...making me believe that the world is reading right along with each key I press down. Logically, I know this isn't true, but it sure beats the anxiety associated with all the unfinished journals molding in the back of my closet (and underneath my bed). (and in the cellar) (cellar? Am I 95 years old?)

It is American to be busy, so they say. Whoever 'they' are. Yet, at first glance my life is simple. I work approximately 40 hours in 3 days. Assuming my quick math skills do not abandon me, that leaves 4 days a week completely free. All the time in the world right? Here in lies the problem. Each week, those four days of bliss escape me, and I do not know how it comes to pass.

Ideally, I'd be hiking in the Gorge, getting lost in the red room at Powell's Books while trying to find the pink room, or maybe drinking a good mocha from anywhere but Starbucks. Why not sit by a willow tree and watch people who love dogs flirt with each other? I could put my most beautiful dress on and lounge in lobbies of the fancy hotels downtown! I could stay up all night writing a heartbreaking, extravagant novel (or um, blog) involving me, tragic romance, and Gerard Butler (from PS I love You). *Note to self....you use too many parentheses*

There are many wonderful acts of service I could take part in. How fulfilling to work with refugees, aiding them in finding jobs and getting acquainted with culture...or I could actually talk to that homeless woman who stands at the on ramp to 1-84 West at Sandy Blvd. I could tutor a child in math er how about recess...I could walk dogs so those people could flirt more!!

But do you know what I do on my days off? I generally marvel at how exhausted I am at the ripe old age of 26. That takes up a few hours, usually. Then I drive all over town meeting up with the few people I can for coffee or a quick happy hour. This is followed by balancing my check book (okay, I don't do that), doing my laundry, cleaning my room, folding my laundry (sometimes), making my bed, doing a little sketching, going to church (sorta), trying to work out, attempting healthy eating, getting caught up on sleep, stressing about healthy eating... and when that's all done, if I have time, I feel tired again. Too tired to do any of the more worthy ideas I mentioned earlier.

And thus, when people ask me what I'm doing in life I feel embarrassed because all I can offer up is work and laundry! But I do speak truth when I say it sincerely feels like that's all I have time to do. Were did I go wrong? Is this rat race really what I take part in for the rest of my life? BAH!

So, my friend, I'm busy with nothing as well. Don't feel too badly about it. However, I have made a recent decision that if I don't change something very soon, I will end up with regrets...and that is a sad sad thing.

AH! I've got it! I'm going to go to school to become a midwife. Yes, you read correctly. A midwife. I'm going to help women bring babies into the world... I will teach them to bite down on a stick while I say a blessing over them using mango juice. Wait, that was the Lion King...but no matter. I will travel around the world and do this.... Man or no man, bad complexion or good, skinny or fat, ten fingers or nine, style or mom jeans...I'm going to do it.

And I'm not kidding.

Now I just need 40,000 dollars, some more free time, a bit more work ethic and a place to live for free. Oh and a way to pay bills....

How are you?

Jenni