If stick figures ran the box office....

As with all things...

I have come to both love and hate the word "thing". It's a both vague and overly descriptive word, and I simply cannot figure it out. No matter what your opinion of this word, you cannot deny it's essential existence in a western world such as this. It has become, perhaps, our most important noun. Or, pretentiously taking it a bit further...."things" have become our way of thinking (dramatic music plays you find yourself suddenly enlightened by my deep thoughts).

To spare the reader a ridiculous rambling of radical rationale (ha, alliteration. See what I did there?) I will instead make you a list. A list of the acceptable and unacceptable ways to use the words "thing" or "things". And so, ladies and gents, I give you....

THOUGHTS ON THING/s:

a list for the ages

*the list will continuously be updated*

A. Unacceptable usage of "thing" or "things":

1. "Don't put that thing in the sink"

2. "This thing will make me happy!"

3. "What did you do today?" .... "you know, things."

4. "So, did you get me anything?"

5. "Did you pick up the thing?"

6. "What is this thing?"

7. "Is there anything you do right?"

8. "I need space to figure things out...and I'm not coming to your birthday"

8. this:

9. "Give me that thing now!"

10. "I have so many things to do today"

11. "Clean up those things.......now!"

12. "Don't touch those things..."

13. "No miss, we don't carry those things at this store"

14. "shhh, don't speak of such things"

15. (dramatic sighs) "Don't we have anything to eat around here?"

16. "You look like something...."

17. "That thing makes you look fat"

15. this: (from 1982 movie "The Thing")

B. Acceptable usage of "thing" or "things":

1. "Whoa, check that thing out!"

2. "It's like the thing that wouldn't stop eating!"

3. "Get away from that thing!"

4. "Where did you get that thing?"

5."Don't you have enough of those things?"

6. "The thing about it is...."

7. "I don't know where to find this thing"

8. "Get that thing out of your mouth!"

9: this:

10. "I love this thing!"

11. "I'm not gonna eat this thing"

12. "What is it with you and things?"

13. "Do we have to go to that thing?"

14. "I hate....things."

15. "That thing is going to KILL me!"

16. "This thing is amazing!"

17. "Say that thing you say, it's hilarious...come on!"

18. "Is this thing a boy or girl?"

19. this: and also this:

The Root of the Problem

One of these days, I will move into a house that I will not have to....6months later....or less, move out of. One of these days I will put down roots. And from them I will grow strong. And rock back and forth on my porch, yelling at the children who kicked their soccer ball into my yard. Handing out dental floss at Halloween. I will call the authorities when one of my 10 cats goes missing in my house. Yes, roots. That's what I need. Roots.

Sigh.

New Holiday Designs

I think this design is really funny. What's funny is calling it a design, because really...it's just stick figures people. Oh how I love them!